ASK BAELI

Ask Baeli: Why can't I get a rich boyfriend? Is it because I'm not attracted to men?

Dear Baeli, I have been a lesbian my whole life. I was on the middle school basketball team. I wore windbreakers. I watched Charmed. I...

Ask Baeli: How do I get Kirstie Alley to stop trying to convert me to scientology?

Dear Baeli, It's been a long year. My mother became a scientologist back last November. Ever since then she has been trying to get me to...

Ask Baeli: How Do I Stop Being a Fat Pig?

Dear Baeli, For as long as I can remember I have been a heinous disease, a plague brought upon my father's house. No one is proud of me....

Ask Baeli: Should I Blackmail My Grandpa to Get into His Will?

Dear Baeli, So I learned the other day that my grandfather is a war criminal. Apparently he was involved in some kinda genocide or...

Ask Baeli: Is my boyfriend gaslighting me...or is it just gas?

Dear God Help Me Baeli! Lately after dinner my boyfriend seems to always have something to say about the way I cook…comments like “No one...

How Do I Get A Refund for the SNK Oil I Bought?

Dear Baeli, I recently came across a product on The Glowt website called SNK Oil. It said it has age-defying properties and a...

I’m Marrying an Overbearing Ogre Who Has the Same Last Name as Me

Dear Baeli, In a few short months, I will be marrying who I thought was the man of my dreams. We had a traditional courtship...he saw my...

Professional Hugging Made Me a Killer.

Dear Baeli, For years I wondered whether I should look for a job after I graduated from college. My mother -- always the nag -- asked me...