WELLNESS

Our Favorite Detox Cleanses That Definitely Won’t Cause Anal Bleeding

Nothing But Coffee: Just, drink coffee the entire time. Seven days ought to do it. Three times a day. You’ll feel so good at the end, and...

Seven Reasons to Have Seven Reasons to Have Seven Fucking Reasons

Here are seven reasons: Why not? Who do you think you are? Jesus? You aren't going to ever improve. She told you to. Might as well. Live,...

Practicing Self-Care Sundays: Lock Your Kids Out of the House

In preparation for the long week ahead, you need to take time for yourself. That's why Self-Care Sundays are so important. That warm bath...

Help Our Glowt Intern #89478 Pay Her Medical Bills Because We Certainly Won't

Intern #89478 just found out she has to have brain surgery for some reason – we don't know why. We got bored listening to her cry about...

I’m Healthier (And Better) Than Anyone I Know!

Ever since I started my keto paleo vegan nut diet, I’ve become the epitome of the word healthy. And I just want to share with everyone,...

Four Crystals to Heal Yourself After He Cheats and If That Doesn't Work Throw at Him

Wow, that bastard did it again, did he? Before you take that lead pipe to his car, try a more spiritual, mystical approach to feel...

Fall is Right Around the Corner! Have You Thought About Life After Death?

Nothing gets me more excited to think about my own demise than the rush of the fall wind sweeping through my hair. Sure, pumpkins and...

Seven Daily Affirmations We Spent Only Two Minutes Coming Up With

I'm a miserable mess and that's not okay. How many times do I have to say I'll start Monday? I need that dollar more than the homeless...

Diet & Exercise? No Thank You! Lose that Extra Flab with Drugs!

You try diet after diet and they all work for a while, but nothing sticks long term. And who has time for exercise anymore? Work has got...

New Diet to Avoid Eating: Just Dead Cockroach In Kitchen

Inspiration for innovation comes when we least expect it. We had tried every diet in the book. Keto, Peto, High-Interval, Paleo, Real...

Seven Meditation Mantras to Prepare You for the Sweet Release of Death

We all need an outlet for our emotions. Transcendental meditation is proven to be an excellent method to calm you in times of stress or...

The Glowt CEO Made Me Wear a Fat Suit for a Day

After realizing the difficulties that fat people go through every day, our founder and CEO Diedre came up with a great idea; she gathered...

Wellness Blogger Announces “Big Things Are Coming!" for Three Years Now

Geighna Black runs a super popular wellness blog titled “Stay Fit With Geighna!” It’s got everything you could need to make you feel...

I Connected with My Inner Child and Now She's Even More Fucked Up

My therapist is a big believer in the inner child theory in that everyone has a subconscious personality that encapsulates your childhood...

Introducing: The Eat Dirt Diet

Fad diets come and go: The All Raw Diet, the Keto Diet, the Eat Tons of Cabbage Soup and Poop Your Pants Diet. But the latest diet is...

Tips for Sticking to Your Diet Even Though We Know You’re Going to Fail

Is it time to dust off your old food scale and start obsessively counting every calorie you eat? You betcha! Are you going to give up...

How to Force Your Kids to Meditate with You When They Would Rather Be Orphans

Mindfulness is so important. Even more important than practicing it is talking about it and making people feel inadequate for not...

Wellness Blogger Prays No One Reads Past Headline and Finds Out They’re Actually A Terrible Writer

Julie Owens, fitness enthusiast and self-proclaimed wellness guru, has a cute little workout blog titled “Sweatin’ with Julie.” That’s...

Yeast Infection? Period Cramps? The Cure? Semen!

Being a woman is definitely tough. Our female anatomy plagues us at every turn. Cramping and bloating during monthly periods, racked with...

Three Exercises to Exorcise the Demon Living Inside You

You feel a burst of hot pain beneath your chest. You run for your crucifix. The pain subsides. But what do you do when you don't have...