This Independence Day, celebrate with friends, family, and drinks that will completely erase your memory of our country’s problematic history. Everything’s great now! So don’t think so much and drink up!
Red, White and Boozy Margaritas
While you down these margaritas, you can slowly forget the country’s history of spraying migrants with toxic chemicals when they crossed the US-Mexico border. Good thing there’s nothing terrible happening there anymore!
Patriotic Piña Coladas
This cute cocktail will wipe your knowledge of the Trail of Tears and the continued issues that afflict Native American Reservations today. Chug it down!
Star-Spangled Shandies
Delicious and refreshing! After two of these, you might not have any recollection of the country’s history of sending thousands of Japanese Americans to internment camps. Thank goodness everyone is accepting of Asian Americans now! #PartyInTheUSA
We Elected Biden So Everything’s Fine Jello Shots
Shots! Shots! Shots! Enjoy these with friends as you unlearn the history of the Tulsa Race Massacre. When you sober up, at least you can feel good about posting a black square that one time.