I've been at the dating app scene for a while now and I can tell you you're definitely doing it wrong if you aren't doing the five things below. How do I know? I've been on at least three dates in the past two years. Yeah...and one even told me I could see her again but somehow lost her phone afterwards or something.
#1 Take a Selfie in Your Car
There's nothing that revs a girl's engine (see what I did there) more than a picture in the old gas guzzler. Extra points for wearing camo wraparound sunglasses.
#2 Tell Them You Can't See Likes So They Should Message You
For some reason, men can't see when a woman likes them on these dating apps. So you have to tell them repeatedly that you can't see likes and that they should just break the ice and message you.
#3 Better Yet, Put Nothing in Your Bio
Rely solely on the good looks God gave you to lure the women in. It's not like men have trouble getting girls on dating apps, so why put in the effort? If you do decide to write something, try "Just ask." That really makes them want to ask, trust me.
#4 Tell them Family Comes First
Everyone knows women love to ruin men's lives and tear them from their families. So before they even start up on this crap, tell them what's what. Family first, always.
#5 Use a Snapchat Filter to Make Yourself Look Creepy as Hell
Turning yourself into a teddy bear with big eyelashes or a red-eyed demon will only help to keep a girl's interest. It's like the dracula effect. Girls wanna sleep with creatures. So step up your filter game, bros.