It really takes a special kind of woman that can reach such an advanced age, and today, that’s you! You’ll be able to share your aged wisdom with the younger generations now that you’re basically one step away from death.
You could always lie and not tell anyone your real age, but what’s the point? People have a way of knowing, like that college student that’s still going to call you ma’am and offer to help you across the street.
Now that you’ve come to terms with your geriatric status, here’s a few things you can pick up at the store, or maybe send the neighbor boy over to the supermarket for you so you don’t fall and break a hip:
Some of those really thick glasses on the rack at the pharmacy
Ingredients for baked goods (old women your age don’t really do much else but bake)
A variety of teas (Earl Grey for when you need that jumpstart when you wake up at 4am, and Chamomile for your 7pm bedtime)
Enjoy your twilight years Grandma!