You try diet after diet and they all work for a while, but nothing sticks long term. And who has time for exercise anymore? Work has got you on some crazy hours and all you want to do is just sleep when you get home! So, what will you do to get rid of those extra pounds you’ve put on lately?
Just do a bunch of drugs! Try knocking on that college kid’s door that lives in the apartment down the hall and see what he’s got for ya. Uppers, downers, it’s all good!
The uppers will help you work out without even being aware of it…all of a sudden you’ll wake up and realize you’ve been dancing at a club for six hours with some people you just met that are the best people you’ve ever met in your life. No really, they are literally the best people ever.
The downers will help you get some rest because sleep is a good idea sometimes. And luckily all you’ll eat the entire day will be some stale French toast sticks you'll find in a box on the metro at 3:00 a.m.
Nothing but drugs will treat you or your waistline better!