I’m loving this new hobby of mine where I whip up a batch of my homemade chickpea matcha brownies and a steaming hot cup of kombucha miso tea and settle down at my creation desk for an afternoon of craftiness!
It doesn’t matter that I never really finish anything I start. What matters is hearing all about these crafts that I start, find out they’re really complicated, getting super annoyed and irritated, and then ending up throwing them in the roaring fire to send them back to the fiery pits of Hell from whence they came. Enjoy!
Cloth Leaves Decoratively Displayed on a String or Something
Doesn’t look hard at all does it? Well, you try cutting out a perfect example of a leaf like 12 times in a row and then having all this extra fabric left over that you originally spent $87 on. You can throw all of it straight into your open hearth and watch the flames incinerate every last bit of that shit.
Time to Get Spooky! With Some Dyed Flowers or Some Shit
Do you even know how hard it is to dye real flowers? Sure, it sounds really cool and goth, but they’re just going to fall apart in the process, just like your last thread of sanity while completing this stupid fucking activity.
Paint Your Pumpkins! Because Those Definitely Won’t Look Terrible…
Oh wow, is that Pablo Picasso? Oh wait, it’s not? Then put down the fucking paint brush, because whatever you do to that pumpkin, it’s going to look like garbage. If you insist on doing this,just paint some stripes on the damn thing and call it a day.