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Five Miniskirts that Say “I’ll Never Have Varicose Veins Like Grandma. Gross.”

These skirts will make you think you’ll stay young and beautiful forever. And you will, with the right surgeon and the right sugar daddy. Here are some miniskirts that will look great on you forever.*

*We are not liable for using the term “forever”

1. For the bookish type--she’s read all of Harry Potter, twice!

2. “I’m just like, invincible to the sun. I don’t want to put all those chemicals from sunblock on my body.”

3. Circulation problems from sitting in a car too long? What are you even talking about?

4. “I’ll wander the streets until 4 a.m., eat two full Grand Slams at Denny’s, and still be ready to make Yoga at 9 a.m. Nothing will ever be able to touch me.”

5. “The great thing about my flat stomach is I know I’m going to be one of those women that can eat anything and just, like, stay the same size.”


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