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Four Crystals to Heal Yourself After He Cheats and If That Doesn't Work Throw at Him

Wow, that bastard did it again, did he? Before you take that lead pipe to his car, try a more spiritual, mystical approach to feel better. And if that for some reason doesn't work, feel free to go straight to violence. Here are four crystals that will surely do the trick either way.

Quartz


This beautiful gem holds magical healing powers that calm and center you after you find your boyfriend in the back of the bar with a seriously ugly bitch. Not enough quartz in the world may be able to assuage your rage, so fuck it, go ahead and lodge this one right in his face.

Jasper


Want to absorb all the negativity your asshole boyfriend brought into your life? Try this rock. Place it near you while you're on your way to his house with a whole bag of jaspers ready to bash his legs in.

Citrine


Ready to start feeling joy and wonder again? Citrine is known for creating feelings of newfound curiosity in people who have seen better days since they met the pricks that kept them from living their #bestlife. You'll surely start feeling more joy once this baby meets the back of his head.



Ruby


Aw, the old standard. Ruby helps restore health and wellbeing when you aim it straight at your ex's groin. The trick is to use your hips when pitching the rock to get the amount of force needed to really do some damage. Good luck!