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Hangover Supplements That Won’t Help as Much as a Breakfast Burrito

Remember last night? Remember when you said “I’m just staying for one drink,” then three glasses of wine later you decide that you and your friends need to take a shot together or else they will be deemed a “little bitch." Well your friends remember and now the room is spinning. Get back to sitting upright again with these hangover supplements that are definitely not as good as a warm and delicious breakfast burrito.

Giant Ass Pills

With just one giant horse pill and a large glass of water (don’t choke!), your body will start feeling less sluggish in just a few hours. But your soul will still be sad and lost, like a barefoot mother who has lost her child, hysterically yelling “Someone please find my baby!” Embrace your beautiful chorizo and egg burrito baby to feel whole again.

Kinda Sus Powder Mix

With a dubious blend of Vitamin B and other “vitamins” you’re not sure are naturally occurring, this supplement mix will get you to metabolise the alcohol faster….but you know what else you can metabolise fast? A fat ass burrito.

Don’t Drink If You’re Lactose Intolerant Morning Recovery Drink

Fortified with something called “anthropoid milk”, this hangover cure comes in a kind-of-gross-to-drink formula that will make you want to puke at first but then it will pass. Once your will to live has returned, let the burrito you just ordered do the heavy lifting and remind you that you and tequila are not friends.

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