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How Bathing in Virgin’s Blood Became the Hot New Trend Everybody’s Talking About!


Maybe you’re aging prematurely from all the stressful world traveling you’re doing, or maybe your skin doesn’t feel as great from all the late nights spent binge-drinking and smoking. Now you can keep doing all those fun, self-care activities and still look as youthful as you did when you competed in all those junior miss beauty pageants when you were 7.


Bathing in blood might sound icky, but the results aren’t! Our Glowt research scientists have broken it down for us and explained it to us as if we’re kindergartners. But we won’t bore you with all of that mumbo jumbo!

A 15-minute soak in about 5 gallons of pure, virginal blood will do absolute wonders for you, and a new franchise popping up all over called Bathoria Spas offers “a unique bloodbath experience for the sophisticated, enlightened, sadistic woman.” We caught up with the founder of Bathoria Spas who just goes by ‘Liz.’ “Yes, it’s true,” Liz states in her thick Eastern European accent, “ve offer virgin bloodbath for woman. Where ve get blood, not important.”


One of these signature Bathoria virgin blood bath experiences will cost you a pretty penny, but much better than buying expensive moisturizers and eating healthy. They even offer a watered-down blood bath for the girl on a budget. And of course they use none other than Glowt’s own Hydrated Water™ for the bath!