Think about it-- you’re having a Sunday funday at the park with your besties and you want to take a group photo to commemorate this really mundane occasion. But you don’t want plain Jane messing up the pic with her unibrow and double chin, so how do you tell her you don’t want her ugliness next to your beautiful clear face without sounding like a total cuntasaurus rex? Here’s some tips!
Ask them to take the photo: Let them know they snap the best pics, especially all the ones of their pet gerbil they post on social media!
Announce a bathroom break: Just before you huddle together, say you have to pee, and then nudge all of your pretty friends and make them go with you. The uggo will follow and you can take the photo while she’s still in there unbuttoning her overalls.
Convince them it’s against their religion: Let them know you heard their pastor talking about the evils of vanity and how you’re trying to save their soul by leaving them out of the pic. Or if they’re atheist (the ugly ones always are) tell them the photo is for your church’s newsletter.
Drug them: Maybe you should take deeper measures. Crush up like 5 Benadryls and sprinkle them on their tuna fish sandwich that you forgot to put in the cooler with everyone else’s salads and it’s actually just been sitting on your car’s dashboard for the past two hours...she might even get food poisoning...problem solved!