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Introducing The Glowt Cruise: Get Swept Away to Sea During a Global Pandemic!


Are you sick of being at home with your boring cat?


Are you tired of seeing other people have fun together in pre-pandemic videos?


Do you want to be stuck inside a ship with thousands of people, with at least 10 percent of them most likely carrying the coronavirus?


Well then The Glowt Cruise is for you!


Activities on The Glowt Cruise:


  • Judge other cruise companions' Insta pics by rating them on a scale from 1 to 5 in terms of hotness!

  • Meditation for Miserable People IN PERSON with Alexandra, our resident mental meditation miracle medium!

  • Eat bird feed with world class YouTubers who sometimes eat!

  • Meet Diedre's second cousin, Mary. (Diedre wanted to make it but she had better things to do. Mary is an accountant, but she's sorta cool. She met Diedre once.)

  • Learn how to dance in a way that doesn't embarrass your friends.

  • Swim if you don't mind other women judging your bikini bod (or lack thereof!)


Sign up today! Only $10,000/person plus food and drinks.


*The Glowt is not responsible for any drownings or Titanic-like tragedies. We reserve the right to refuse you service if you dress like an idiot.