Crypto is trash. Yeah, I said it. The days of being able to run your video card all day and make mad bank are gone. Now you need a network, which requires a lot of hardware and other stuff. Lame.
I've partnered with the best Eastern European code magicians to offer you all an alternative: TonyKoin. This uses dogs and etherums or something to provide a cryptocurrency that is currently not worth much, but will scale with your ability to influence your audience. All you need to do is get people to install an alternative operating system to their phones, and their hardware will generate hashes and shit when they're not using it.
Now Tony, I hear you asking, why would they install that shit on their phones? That's where you come in. We bring value by providing access to the latest movies and music, free of charge! You showcase this sick interface to your friends and family, and maybe install it for them, and now they're in the network! Of course, a portion of the koins your contacts make get added to YOUR wallet. Even better, if your contacts add people to the network, you get a slice of that as well! The more people you add, the sooner you're locked in to that sustainable residual income good good.
My phone company has been so impressed with the technology that they said it's next level sky net shit. Or bot net. Something like that. I truly believe that
THIS DEVICE HAS BEEN LOCKED
INSTRUCTIONS ON WHERE TO DEPOSIT 2BTC WILL BE SENT VIA SMS
BELARUS FOREVER
oh god diedre is going to kill me