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Labor Day Ideas for Poor People Who Must Continue to Labor. You Better Get My Drink Order Right!


We rich people are incredibly grateful to all the poverty-stricken sad sacks who must toil and slave their days away endlessly helping us live our #bestlives. That's why we decided to take time out of our holiday to let you all know some ways you can still celebrate your holiday while you continue to work to bring us all happiness and none for yourself.


Get yourself an extra large order of fries at the fast food place where you eat lunch. You've earned it. Just make sure you get back to your shift before your manager Jessica starts texting you wondering where the hell you are and why you haven't cleaned the shit smeared on the walls in the bathrooms.

Play some fun music while you stock the shelves. Just make sure it's not too loud so that people walking the aisles are free to interrupt you every 30 seconds with questions on where to find mayonnaise and dog food.


Give yourself a breather after that loud WASP woman screamed at you for putting chocolate sauce on her latte instead of white chocolate sauce. Just tell your coworkers you ate some bad Mexican food and need a few minutes in the bathroom. It's okay to cry. Just make sure you get right back out there and keep doing what you're best at: taking shit like a champ!


Go home and get some rest. Fix yourself a nice cocktail (if you can afford liquor) and soak in the tub (if you have a bathroom). It's been a laborious Labor Day and you deserve five hours of sleep until that alarm clock sounds and you're on your feet again for the next 12 hours.