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Movie Night Has Lowest Attendance on Record After Least Popular Friend Picks Film

Movie night has always been a fun night for me and my friends. Instead of going out to the clubs and getting blackout drunk every time we get together, we dedicate one night a month to gathering at one of our homes, splurging on a bag of plain rice cakes and bone broth, and having a great time!

Last weekend, in the spirit of the month of October, we asked Agnes to pick a scary movie for us to watch. Normally, we wouldn‘t associate with a girl like Agnes...she’s dull, majors in Molecular Biology, and wears clogs. But her dad is loaded and brings us every year to their family estate on St. John’ we have to put up with her.

We told Agnes to pick something really scary, and to announce it the day of our event. I was hosting at my house and was looking forward to a girls’ night ever since I broke up with my boyfriend after he posted a really ugly selfie. Like, how am I supposed to brag about him to my friends with something that hideous out there on the web?

So, Agnes finally texted our group an hour before everyone was coming over. She texted, “I’m bringing Ernest Scared Stupid on DVD. Hope everyone’s ready for some scares and some laughs!”

Five minutes later, Emma texted, “So sorry, can’t make it. Love ya! Xoxo”

Then Josslyn wrote “I’ve got a crazy migraine. I’ll make it next time!”

And so on and so forth. Pretty soon, the only ones coming were Agnes, me, and Toni, but only because Toni was already drunk and needed a place to crash and was already in the Uber.

This is the last time Agnes will be picking the movie.


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