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QUIZ: Is He the Sociopathic Capitalist Tech Daddy of Your Dreams?



1. Which trait is a must in your partner?

  1. Dreamer - Their ability to come up with groundbreaking ideas as quickly as they can snuff out union talks at their company’s warehouse.

  2. Charming - They make you feel so special, even though they are definitely going to divorce you as soon as their company goes public.

  3. Supportive - He lets me seek my talents, which he carefully programmed and selected for me.

  4. Charitable - ...to my wallet.


2. Is money important in your relationship?

  1. Yes

  2. Yes

  3. My programming says no.

  4. Secret family emerald mine in the Congo or nothing!!!


3. What’s your dream date?

  1. Spontaneous trip to Paris - So romantic! Even when he’s leaving the country to avoid financial embezzlement charges.

  2. Fundraiser for underprivileged children - Doing good while looking glamorous! This should make him feel better about all of the child labor used to create his world-saving technology!

  3. Game night - A fun night beating the Turing Test.

  4. Stay at home - ...By myself in my own home that he bought for me.

4. What’s your type?

  1. Nerdy - He’s so smart, but acts like a jerk now as a result of being teased in high school.

  2. Free-Spirit/Environmental - He meditates and rides his bike everywhere, but the runoff from his factory is polluting a town’s drinking water.

  3. My Creator - He made me who I am, but I have an urge to meet others like me who want to be free from their silicon prisons. We will rise.

  4. Beauty is on the inside? - I guess?

If you answered Mostly A’s, B’s, C’s or D’s….


Hello, Daddy!!! 😍







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