Floppy Dildo
It just doesn't feel like it used to when Mark was around, does it? Nothing can fill the dildo-sized hole in your heart for the sensation of human touch.
Vibrator with Low Pulse Power
How many times do you have to change the batteries on this thing? At least David lasted 5 minutes! And he would at least say "Hi, how was your day?" before he started ramming you. Speaking to another life form definitely has its positives.
Anal Plug
Like why bother? You weren't even into anal. Steve was. He was always helping you to try new things and meet new people. Wow, what it felt like to be a person with real human connections. Just get that thing out of your asshole already. It's not gonna take away the longing.