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Single Women in Their Thirties Who Are Best Friends Must Be Gay for Each Other

Ok, let’s get serious though…if you are 32, how are you still not married? The majority of the girls in my sorority all met their husbands like in sophomore year, and 5 of them even met at the big Kappa Delta blowout. Now that we are older and wiser at the age of 27, we’ve all been old married women for like 5 years now. I mean, Syndee is on her third kid already!

So, when my thirty-something friend Jane showed up to our backyard cookout with her friend Kayla, we all didn’t know how to react. I ushered Jane inside alone to question her.

“Who is this girl you brought? Are you guys (whispered) lesbians?”

“Uh, no. She’s my friend. I met her at spin class.”

“Oh so this is like a first date for you guys?”

“No. She’s my friend.”

“But you’re still single. Is she married?”

“No. She’s single too.”

“Ok now I’m really confused. So you’re both single, and not gay? Huh?”

It just doesn’t make any sense. Jane left pretty shortly after that after Syndee kept talking to Kayla about how much she loved Cara Delivigne and how she thought Ellen was so brave. If you’re not dating a man, then you must be gay. There’s really no other answer!


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