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The Five Hate Languages: How Do You Want to be Hated?

It's so important to know how you want to be hated. By learning your hate language you can help your enemy (or toxic lover/friend/relative) learn how best to show you they hate you. So pick one and let it define everything you are. YOU CAN ONLY PICK ONE GODDAMNIT.

The Silent Treatment

Do you hate to be ignored? Does the thought of someone giving you the cold shoulder send you spiraling into a mess of anxiety and depression? Then maybe the Silent Treatment is how you want to be hated.

Ways to Hate Using the Silent Treatment: The hater best uses the Silent Treatment by leaving you on read every time you message them for at least a day at a time, and also leaving the room and not speaking to you every time the slightest hint of displeasure comes to them.

Constant Arguing

This hate language is for those who can't stand having to defend all their opinions and actions to the person they hate whenever they open their mouths.

Ways to Hate Using Constant Arguing: The hater will have to be dedicated to being a contrarian at all times. If the hated says they like a movie, bring up all its faults and make them feel dumb for liking it. Find an opportunity to be an asshole whenever you can.

Physical Violence

Do you hate to be punched, slapped, kicked, choked, etc.? While we don't condone physical violence (for legal reasons), if this is how you like to be hated, you must tell your hater just how much physical violence they should inflict to make you feel truly hated.

Ways to Hate Using Physical Violence: This one sort of speaks for itself. Just hurt them physically whenever they speak out of turn or just because they look dumb.


People with anxiety and low self-esteem will definitely find the cons in gaslighting and will hate the experience of feeling like they're losing their minds. There is a subtle art to gaslighting where the hater twists the hated's words around, makes them believe things happened that didn't and just basically drive them insane.

Ways to Hate Using Gaslighting: Tell them that they never said or did something when you know that they did those things. Tell them they need to get therapy because they express their feelings. Question everything they say and do by asking, "Are you sure?" to make them doubt their own memory.

Deeply Painful Insults

Have you ever been walloped by an insult that viciously attacks you at your core? Didn't that hurt like hell? If you're a person who hates to know what other people think of them, this hate language may be for you.

Ways to Hate Using Deeply Painful Insults: Find the things that make the hated insecure. We're talking body image, personality quirks, past transgressions they'd rather forget. Crafting an insult so painful that they have to consider therapy is a great way to show them you hate them.

Happy Hating!


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