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Tips for Living in a Tiny House: #1 Don't!


Once I graduated from college and was forced out of my ex-boyfriend's home after I doused his clothes in gasoline, I decided to purchase a tiny home using the money my dead grandpa left me. After spending a year in the home, here are just a few tips and hacks I can share for adjusting to the tiny home lifestyle.


#1: Don't. It sucks. I hate it. I feel cramped and claustrophobic and I wish I could burn this place down to the ground where it belongs in the pits of hell.


#2: Did you not read the first tip? Thought I made it pretty clear. Yeah, they look cute on the outside but within lies a misery few will ever know. I have to sit on my toilet to clean my oven. I think that speaks for itself.


#3: Okay, listen here, motherfucker. If you don't listen to me, it's your own funeral. "Oh, but it's economical and I can manage it!" Fuck off. I am praying for death just so I can escape this hellhole since no one in their right mind wants to buy it off me.

#4: ...Actually, are you interested in a tiny home? I have one for sale that is perfect for you and your needs. Furniture includes a bed/couch, a desk/kitchen table, and a nightstand/chopping block/board to slam your head on. You're gonna love it.

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#5: Nope, you signed the paperwork and it's yours now. There's no taking this back. The curse has now fallen on your head and the only way to lift it is to sell it to another schmuck who watches too much HGTV. No amount of prayer or sacrifice will undo this burden now. Your fate is sealed.