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Try a Rip Van Winkle Style Nap to Get Through Pandemic

We are all so sick of this pandemic.

"Wear a mask, don’t wear a mask."

"Go to the beach. No, don’t go to the beach."

"Believe everything you read on the internet. No, really, do it."

Who can keep up? It just makes me sick. And tired!

Well, I came up with an idea…

It all began when my daughter had to read the short story, “Rip Van Winkle” by Washington Irving. Since I am a good mother, I like to monitor everything my child reads so that I know she’s not reading anything filthy, inappropriate, or “enlightening.”

I have had this conversation many times with her teachers throughout the years. We finally decided that they would give me a list of all of the literature that she is required to read for passing her English classes. Well, one of the stories on the list was Rip Van Winkle. It was a short story so I was glad to have something that wouldn’t take up much time. I had a very busy day teaching a virtual yoga class and making gluten free vegan cupcakes for my stepson’s birthday.

I reclined on one of the shaded loungers next to our pool and began to read. It was pretty warm that day and our outdoor shade mister was just not working properly so once I finished, I fell asleep.

I woke up abruptly to Javier the landscaper calling out to me that he was going to be working in the yard now. Asshole! I was napping and he had to disturb me by doing his job! I got up, gave him a scowl, and went inside...

Rip Van Winkle wasn’t disturbed or rudely awakened by anyone...and that’s when I came up with my grand idea.

He wasn’t disturbed by anyone because he was in the woods! A place I imagine no one really goes. I could most likely find a nice tree trunk and settle myself down. Realistically, I couldn’t sleep for 20 years, but maybe one or two if no one disturbed me. And that way I could sleep through this “pandemic” and wake up and go have a cocktail with the gals!

I’m heading out tomorrow to scope out a good place and then settle in for a good 15 months at least. I’ve left my husband and kids a post-it note.

Wish me luck! I will update you when I’ve awakened from my slumbers...I can’t wait to lose like 10 lbs., too!


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