The Glowt prides itself in knowing just what types of consumer goods you need. That's why we gave you many choices of healing crystals to choose from, all starting at the low price of $500.
Imagine our surprise when none of you pieces of shit took the bait. We subsequently had to diversify our product line. To that end, we now sell potato sack dresses and ripped up t-shirts. Happy?
You can get this potato sack dress for $425 … or can we tempt you with this ruby crystal forged from an Icelandic volcano at just $799?
Try on this ripped up shirt for just $229 ... or impress your friends with this blood diamond stolen from a real African war monger for only $10,000! We know you want one!
Ready to glam it up? Step into this
$2,300 dress sprayed with the pheromones of wild cheetahs ...or just please buy this crystal. We have so many it's becoming a problem.