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We Tried a Sound Bass But Realized Our Editor Meant Sound Bath...

... Not A Room Full of Animatronic Singing Fish

Note from the author: Half way through writing this article, my editor informed me that I was to write about “sound baths”, not a “sound bass”. I’m still not quite sure what a sound bath is, but as a Northwestern University student, I felt we should stick to our integrity as journalists and publish this story as is. My editor said it was better than nothing and that I better make the deadline.

As an intern at The Glowt, I’m often tasked with updating social media accounts, taking notes at meetings, or buying ayahuasca for the CEO from a dealer two neighborhoods over.

When my editor came to tell me she had an assignment for me, I was all ears! Well, there was construction going on next door, so I didn’t quite hear everything. When she told me I was to try a sound bass I had no idea what it was, but The Glowt offices are always on the cutting edge and I was so in.

I did a Google search for “sound bass” with no results. Wow, this must be a really new trend! After lots of searching, the only thing that remained consistent was the famous singing fish of my youth, Big Mouth Billy Bass. Seems weird, but the ‘90s are always trending. I ordered them right away. Fifty should hopefully be enough!

After receiving my fish, I set them up along my bedroom walls. My roommate asked what the hell was going on, but I just asked her how long Josh was going to stay here rent free. She left quickly.

I think my boss had mentioned something about laying back and relaxing, so I turned on all the fish one at a time, laid in my bed and closed my eyes. Do interns dream of electric fish? I let Billy's siren song wash over me:

“Take me to the river….”

Mindfulness. This is what it’s like to pause and appreciate being.

“…Drop me in the water.”

Clarity. I think I will take that gap year and volunteer.

My session was unfortunately interrupted by my neighbors banging against the wall and yelling to shut the fuck up for the love of God.

But I can say without a doubt, that I have never felt more at peace. I encourage everyone to try their first sound bass for an experience they will never forget.

Note from The Editor: After the publishing of this story, readers have been reaching out to The Glowt offices to ask where they can find a place that offers this new immersive experience.

The Glowt is investigating offering do-it-yourself Sound Bass installation kits as soon as it’s fully product tested. Because our intern signed an Intellectual Property Agreement upon her hiring, this product is owned exclusively by The Glowt. Please direct enquiries to The Glowt offices only as the writer has decided to start her gap year early.


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