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What’s Your Body Type? (There’s Only One Good One!)

Here at The Glowt, we know that every body is beautiful! But we also like to confuse you with this messaging by occasionally providing a guide with names that only demean that body type. But hey we’re all unique. Some of us have curves, some of us have muscles, and some of us have taco shell crumbs on our chest. #bodypositivity


From Marilyn Monroe to Sophia Loren to… oh we guess this body type’s okay.

Single Banana Left in a Desk Drawer

Long, slender, and very mushy. Use cocaine-era Kate Moss as a jumping off point.


Tall, sturdy, and infinitely large on the inside. To round out your shoulders we recommend off-the-shoulder styles and belts to give the illusion of a waist.


With wings and a face full of tentacles, this body type can be tricky to dress! We recommend open back dresses and flowy tops to show off your wings. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn, girl!

That concludes an exhaustive list of all the valid body types.

Find more style tips at The Glowt’s Fashion section.

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