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Why I Gave Up Men And Only Have Sex With Demons Now

After an unending parade of ‘Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am' sexual partners, I was done. I would leave a sexual encounter always yearning for more. I mean, I always come like 5 times, but sometimes you just need more than a tumble in the sheets. After I stopped inviting over one letdown after another, I discovered a new kind of partner started coming around…and he was hot hot hot. No, I mean actually hot because he has just climbed out of the fiery pits of hell. My lady bits are still chafing.

The great thing about having sex with a demon is their enthusiasm. They’re so eager to get inside you, and when I say get inside you, I mean they really go the whole nine yards. At times during the day I can still feel them in me. Even the times when I’m levitating out of my cubicle at work or crying blood tears when I’m watching one of my sappy rom coms.

They’re so honest and straightforward too! RIght off the bat, I was told that I’m nothing but a sacrificial lamb for the unholy altar, and nothing more. It’s so refreshing to not always be wondering ‘where are we in this relationship?’ I can’t wait to see what this new lifestyle holds for me. But first, I have to go terrorize this group of Sunday school children. Later!


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