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Woman that Says, “I Can’t Help It. I’m a Taurus” Actually Just Huge Bitch

Whenever my best friend Geenah tells me about something terrible she did, like cheating on her boyfriend, stealing money from her sister’s wallet, or putting laxatives in her co-worker’s coffee, she always finishes the story with, “I am such a Taurus!”

Today, I found out she’s been reading her astrological sign all wrong. When we both took a look at it, it seems she’s actually a cancer sign, which should mean she should be more caring and docile. Who knew that the signs actually mean nothing! She says she now sees how she identifies with being a Cancer, but she still set her boss’s car on fire. Go figure.


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