Halloween is the perfect time for quirky, original girls like you to show the world how different you are from all the whores who are walking the streets in their underwear. That's just not something you're into. You don't have to dress like that to feel good about yourself; you only have to bring it up endlessly throughout the night whenever anybody asks you what the fuck you are. It's way more fun for people to be confused by your outfit than to know automatically you're a sexy cat or a sexy witch. Here are perfect outfits that will bring out the self-righteous attitude everyone has come to expect from you every Halloween!
Susan B. Anthony
The champion of Women's Rights and a total buzzkill Halloween costume. Rest assured you will be asked who you are supposed to be, which will give you an excuse to drone on and on about how you are a feminist and wanted to give everyone a little history lesson on a night that's supposed to be fun. But that's just how you are!
Buster Keaton
You think you're going to make a huge splash with this costume, and people will automatically know who you are, but no one knows who the fuck Buster Keaton is. They'll just think you're a ghost. But when you explain that you're dressed as one of the greatest comedy minds of all time, you'll be sure to make people think, "Wow, this girl is different!"
Whoopie Cushion
You're so cute dressed as a whoopie cushion, everyone will laugh at how self-deprecating and silly you are. And you're fine with not being considered the "sexy" one or the "cool" one. You are just you, so unique and so different, and all the girls wish they had the confidence to be the dork in the room, but they just don't, and that's just how it's always been and wow, you're the best.