Why I'm Not Jealous of My Boyfriend's Hot Female Friends Because I Axe Murdered Them
We've all been there. Your boyfriend is hanging out late with his much hotter, much cooler female friends and you're in the bathtub...
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Loosely Cited Wellness
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How I Left My Loveless Marriage and Met the Money of My Dreams
It was more than I could take. I found Patrick listening to another woman's podcast and I had had it up to here. How could he betray me...
How to Cradle your Boyfriend’s Fragile Male Ego like a Newborn Babe
Step 1: Watch that sass, missy! Men don’t like to have their comments, actions, or opinions questioned. If you do, you may trigger a...
I Gave Up on Dating Apps and Instead Spray Pheromones Wherever I Go
Dating apps are just so demanding. You have to swipe left, swipe right, talk to people about their dogs, and then forget their names when...
When To Tell Your Friend They’re So Brave (Hint: It’s Every Time)
Life can be so hard for women, and it’s important to remind them of the warriors they are on the front lines of life. Whether you’re...
Relationship Health: Force Your Partner to Care About Your Bowel Movements
Did you feel a rumble in your stomach? Is it time to stink up the ladies' room? Then tell your man! It's time to take back our health...
How to Make Friends When You’re Not Pretty
Everyone wants beautiful friends so they can be jealous of them and talk shit behind their back, but what about us uggos that need brunch...
Practicing Daily Gratitude: How My Friends Must Learn to Be More Grateful for Me
Gratitude in daily life is so important and essential to a peaceful and happy life. That’s why it’s also important for my friends to show...
5 Red Flags to Look for on a First Date with A Dumb, Homophobic, Racist, Ugly Loser
So you were just asked out on a date with a dumb, homophobic, racist, ugly loser. You already found out before the date he didn't...
Single Women in Their Thirties Who Are Best Friends Must Be Gay for Each Other
Ok, let’s get serious though…if you are 32, how are you still not married? The majority of the girls in my sorority all met their...
Opposites Attract: I'm the Funny One and He is the Figment of My Imagination One
They say that opposites attract in romantic relationships. Loved ones have always told me I bring levity and humor to every situation I'm...
Yes, I Still Call My Father Daddy, and Yes, It Makes Him Uncomfortable
I am 39-years-old. I have three sisters and a brother, all older than me by at least 10 years. I'm the baby of the family, I guess you...
My Boyfriend Was Reincarnated as a Raccoon and Now Won't Stop Eating My Trash
It was a tragic day. Chad went a little crazy and drank too many mimosas at brunch. Next thing you know he was floating in the ocean...
Woman Forgets Which Personal Details She Gave to 4,587th Guy She Met on Dating App
Was it the story about my semester in Spain? Or maybe I told this one about my allergy to sand. I can’t keep them straight! Last night I...
Ways to Get Over Your Shitty Ex That Don't Include Starting a New Hobby or Exercising
Did he do you dirty? We've all been there (except Baeli; no man has ever mistreated her). It's time to move on, sis. But before you start...
Why I Gave Up Men And Only Have Sex With Demons Now
After an unending parade of ‘Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am' sexual partners, I was done. I would leave a sexual encounter always yearning for...
These Boots Are Made for Walking Back to My Boyfriend and Begging His Forgiveness
I'm an idiot. I told my boyfriend that I didn't like it when he looked at other women and howled, "Awoo" at them like some kind of...
How to Not Scream in Horror When Your Boyfriend Invites You to the County Fair
James wasn't serious when he said he really loves monster truck rallies, race car derbies and pie-eating contests, was he? Unfortunately,...
How To Tell Your Ugly Friend You Don’t Want Them In The Squad Photo
Think about it-- you’re having a Sunday funday at the park with your besties and you want to take a group photo to commemorate this...
Why I Love My Husband, And Why I Shouldn't Have Made Him Dead
Men mean so much to me. I had a daddy, a grandaddy, an uncle and a Catholic priest who never made me feel uncomfortable at all, no no....
Woman Forced to Promote Best Friend’s New Dumb Thing They’re into Now
What are friends for? Apparently they’re for promoting what their friends’ new interests, hobbies, or life choices are this month. After...
How I Turn Up the Heat in the Bedroom with a Blowtorch
We all like to get a little kinky sometimes in the bedroom. But when you don't have a significant other to share it with, what the hell...
The Five Hate Languages: How Do You Want to be Hated?
It's so important to know how you want to be hated. By learning your hate language you can help your enemy (or toxic...
New Bride Can’t Wait To Fake A Personality For The Rest Of Her Life
Marina Givens, 26, is getting married today. “Really, it’s the best day of my life. This is honestly the happiest I’ve ever been. No...
Ways to Pretend You're Interested in Your Maid's Stories About Her Homeland
When Lupe starts sharing stories at night, I usually just shut the door in her face. But after talking to my therapist about being more...
I Dated A Man Under Six Feet Tall, And Lived To Tell The Tale
It’s hard enough out there to find the right guy without having to deal with the fact that even if he’s my soulmate, if he’s under six...
Five Gifts to Give Your Frenemy For Galentine’s Day
A framed photo of you and her boyfriend. She shouldn’t be so weird about you being so close with Jake. A gift certificate to the spa she...
That's Right Ladies: Faking Orgasms Is Back!
Sure, being a strong woman who knows her own mind and knows how to reach her own sexual satisfaction is all fine and dandy, but is all...
Diamond in the Rough Actually Cubic Zirconia in the Rough
He came from the wrong side of the tracks. I got lost on my way to a new mani-pedi place and stopped to ask for the local street urchins...
Pulled Kegel Muscles and Other Reasons My Girlfriend Won’t Have Sex With Me
I know it’s an absolutely real and legitimate injury, but can you really pull your Kegel muscle nine times a month? After 9:00 pm, she...
3 Reasons Your Boyfriend Is a Toxic Psycho and You Are a Goddamn Angel Saint Descended From Heaven
1. Why he's awful: He doesn't express his feelings. When you ask him how he feels about buying you a new designer purse, he gives you a...
Crab Rangoons Are Better Than Any Man
Picture this: I'm sitting across from my date at a swanky new bar. He's the right age, successful, and attractive. He's nice. We've...
Forgiving My Boyfriend for Voting for Trump... and also for Sleeping with My Mom
We walked out of the voting booth and I gave him a grin. "We're gonna make a huge change this year! It's time for us to reclaim the soul...
How to Block then Unblock then Block then Unblock then Block then Unblock your Boyfriend...
Until he gives you that fucking ring! Is your boyfriend dragging you around like a dirty old teddy bear he's had since birth but secretly...
QUIZ: Is He the Sociopathic Capitalist Tech Daddy of Your Dreams?
1. Which trait is a must in your partner? Dreamer - Their ability to come up with groundbreaking ideas as quickly as they can snuff out...
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