Our Favorite Detox Cleanses That Definitely Won’t Cause Anal Bleeding
Nothing But Coffee: Just, drink coffee the entire time. Seven days ought to do it. Three times a day. You’ll feel so good at the end, and...
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Loosely Cited Wellness
WELLNESS
Seven Reasons to Have Seven Reasons to Have Seven Fucking Reasons
Here are seven reasons: Why not? Who do you think you are? Jesus? You aren't going to ever improve. She told you to. Might as well. Live,...
Practicing Self-Care Sundays: Lock Your Kids Out of the House
In preparation for the long week ahead, you need to take time for yourself. That's why Self-Care Sundays are so important. That warm bath...
Help Our Glowt Intern #89478 Pay Her Medical Bills Because We Certainly Won't
Intern #89478 just found out she has to have brain surgery for some reason – we don't know why. We got bored listening to her cry about...
I’m Healthier (And Better) Than Anyone I Know!
Ever since I started my keto paleo vegan nut diet, I’ve become the epitome of the word healthy. And I just want to share with everyone,...
Four Crystals to Heal Yourself After He Cheats and If That Doesn't Work Throw at Him
Wow, that bastard did it again, did he? Before you take that lead pipe to his car, try a more spiritual, mystical approach to feel...
Fall is Right Around the Corner! Have You Thought About Life After Death?
Nothing gets me more excited to think about my own demise than the rush of the fall wind sweeping through my hair. Sure, pumpkins and...
Seven Daily Affirmations We Spent Only Two Minutes Coming Up With
I'm a miserable mess and that's not okay. How many times do I have to say I'll start Monday? I need that dollar more than the homeless...
Diet & Exercise? No Thank You! Lose that Extra Flab with Drugs!
You try diet after diet and they all work for a while, but nothing sticks long term. And who has time for exercise anymore? Work has got...
New Diet to Avoid Eating: Just Dead Cockroach In Kitchen
Inspiration for innovation comes when we least expect it. We had tried every diet in the book. Keto, Peto, High-Interval, Paleo, Real...
Seven Meditation Mantras to Prepare You for the Sweet Release of Death
We all need an outlet for our emotions. Transcendental meditation is proven to be an excellent method to calm you in times of stress or...
The Glowt CEO Made Me Wear a Fat Suit for a Day
After realizing the difficulties that fat people go through every day, our founder and CEO Diedre came up with a great idea; she gathered...
Wellness Blogger Announces “Big Things Are Coming!" for Three Years Now
Geighna Black runs a super popular wellness blog titled “Stay Fit With Geighna!” It’s got everything you could need to make you feel...
I Connected with My Inner Child and Now She's Even More Fucked Up
My therapist is a big believer in the inner child theory in that everyone has a subconscious personality that encapsulates your childhood...
Introducing: The Eat Dirt Diet
Fad diets come and go: The All Raw Diet, the Keto Diet, the Eat Tons of Cabbage Soup and Poop Your Pants Diet. But the latest diet is...
Tips for Sticking to Your Diet Even Though We Know You’re Going to Fail
Is it time to dust off your old food scale and start obsessively counting every calorie you eat? You betcha! Are you going to give up...
How to Force Your Kids to Meditate with You When They Would Rather Be Orphans
Mindfulness is so important. Even more important than practicing it is talking about it and making people feel inadequate for not...
Wellness Blogger Prays No One Reads Past Headline and Finds Out They’re Actually A Terrible Writer
Julie Owens, fitness enthusiast and self-proclaimed wellness guru, has a cute little workout blog titled “Sweatin’ with Julie.” That’s...
Yeast Infection? Period Cramps? The Cure? Semen!
Being a woman is definitely tough. Our female anatomy plagues us at every turn. Cramping and bloating during monthly periods, racked with...
Three Exercises to Exorcise the Demon Living Inside You
You feel a burst of hot pain beneath your chest. You run for your crucifix. The pain subsides. But what do you do when you don't have...
Amazon-Sponsored Post: Freeze Your Eggs to Breed the Next Generation of Exploited Labor
You're getting older. You're thinking, "I'm gonna be dead soon. Maybe I won't be able to have kids anymore. Maybe I should save my eggs."...
Glowt Within Essential Oils: Relieve Stress, Lift a Car Over Your Head
Here at The Glowt, we are big believers in natural alternatives to Western Medicine, which is why we quickly slapped our logo on generic...
New! Hydrated Water from The Glowt
Stored in an extra thick glass bottle that helps seal in the extra hydration molecules. Why drink regular water when you can spend more...
Three Wellness Blogs You Must Absolutely Never Read, So Don't Even Read This
. . . We told you not to read this! Now we see how loyal you are to The Glowt, wanting to read other Wellness blogs, as if we're not...
What’s Your Body Type? (There’s Only One Good One!)
Here at The Glowt, we know that every body is beautiful! But we also like to confuse you with this messaging by occasionally providing a...
Meditation for Miserable People
Alexandria pushes the limits of your mental health as she guides you through this immersive meditation.
How I Learned About Portion Control After Watching This Obese Squirrel At The Park
Sitting in the park one day about to chow down on my double-beef burrito with extra queso, I noticed a group of squirrels a couple yards...
Anti-Vaxxer Suddenly Upset Covid-19 Vaccine Isn’t Readily Available To Her Yet
Tina Thompson, 28, is upset. “Everyone is advocating for this new ‘cure’ to the coronavirus disease. And all I’m waiting for is to let...
Dream Interpretations By Baeli, Dream Scientist
I had a dream that I had a new calling, and took that as a sign that I need to help all my readers interpret their dreams and guide them...
Sex Toys that Will Make You Wish You Had A Boyfriend
Floppy Dildo It just doesn't feel like it used to when Mark was around, does it? Nothing can fill the dildo-sized hole in your heart for...
Hangover Supplements That Won’t Help as Much as a Breakfast Burrito
Remember last night? Remember when you said “I’m just staying for one drink,” then three glasses of wine later you decide that you and...
Light Stretches to Ease Bloating, Cause Loud Farts
A little overzealous with the cashew cheese again? Ate a giant lentil and kale salad but was still hungry so you binged on a bag of...
How I Learned to Love Myself but Also This New Guy I’m Seeing
Self-love is so important in life, especially in this past year! I’ve personally had so many changes in my life, probably more than...
Ultimate Detox Hack: Own A Liver!
Who knew that you could live a healthy life without spending hundreds of dollars on a good-sounding detox cleanse?! So, we could spend...
I Tried a Coffee Enema and Now I’m Haunting This Gas Station Restroom for Eternity
All I wanted was to relieve myself of the cramps I had from eating the Taco Bell I got for the road. How would I know that a...
IV Therapies to Do While the National Hospital System Breaks Down
If there’s one thing we learned this year, it's that our health is so incredibly important. Every day, our front line hospital workers...
Try Our Adult Coloring Books to Get Thru Spending New Year's Eve Desperately Alone
Yeah, sure, we'd all like to be out wearing flapper dresses at the club like we did last year (it's the '20s again, lol!) but we can't....
A 3-Day Diet Cleanse to Rid Yourself of the Will to Live
Is it time to get that ex-boyfriend back after he cheated on you with your best friend? Are you auditioning for the role of a lifetime...
I Voted for Trump Because My Aura Is Red
Sure, Trump is Republican. Sure, he grabs women by the pussies. Sure, he may set in motion the end of the world. But if I were to vote...
Hula Hooping My Way to Feeling Superior
I remember when I was a young girl my father used to sit me on his knee and tell me stories about poor people. I would laugh and laugh...
We Tried Heroin!
Here at the Glowt Lab, we constantly look for ways to challenge the established norms of self-care and wellness. Remember when Bailey...
Why Therapy is So Beneficial When You Have Insurance and a Disposable Income
Six months ago, I was in a rough place. My BFF and go-to brunch buddy Ashleigh got engaged and moved away to Alaska (like, WTF?). My...
Try a Rip Van Winkle Style Nap to Get Through Pandemic
We are all so sick of this pandemic. "Wear a mask, don’t wear a mask." "Go to the beach. No, don’t go to the beach." "Believe everything...
I Had a Low-Cost Self-Care Night by Smearing Peanut Butter on My Knees and Had My Dog Lick it Off
After a long day of working from home, I was exhausted. Not as exhausted as sitting through an hour of bumper to bumper traffic both...
Life-Changing Journey: I Went on a Hike for 25 Minutes
Is quarantine life starting to feel like a drag? It's been a nonstop nightmare for me. Ever since they put us on lock down, I realized...
We Tried a Sound Bass But Realized Our Editor Meant Sound Bath...
... Not A Room Full of Animatronic Singing Fish Note from the author: Half way through writing this article, my editor informed me that I...
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