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Declaring Yourself Non-Monogamous When You Can’t Get Even One Person To Sleep With You

Dating Linda was like a dream. She was sexy, smart, a great dancer with a fantastic sense of humor. We got along so well and even started talking about our future plans and possibly moving in together. But how am I supposed to settle for just one person when once in a while I just want some strange? I tried explaining this to Linda but she didn’t understand, said she could never understand, and so she left. She was a ho anyways.

After hitting the dating apps, I kept seeing a lot of sad, ugly people who said they were in polyamourous relationships and we’re looking for another to add to the mix. I thought to myself if those uggos can get multiple people at a time, I would be rolling in it, maybe even two chicks at the same time.

I changed my profile to say I’m non-monogamous and just looking for like half a dozen or so ladies. Sounds nice, right? Just being open and free, with as many different hotties as possible. But it’s a no go. Somehow, I’ve gotten zero matches so far. Women are whack, yo.

Luckily, I found the solution...took the non-monogamy part off my profile and now we’re back to normal. Been seeing Courtney for a month now, and Holly and Maggie for about a week or so. Non-monogamy works so well for me, especially when I don’t tell any of my girls about each other.


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