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How to Help Your Kids Remember Who You are After Your Long Vacation in the Tropics


We've all been there – opening the iron-clad doors to your three story mansion in the Hamptons and calling out for your little ones.


"I'm home! Mother's home!"


Your children look terrified. Who is this woman? Their eyes say.


In the event you have been gone for months on end sailing the Caribbean with a man named Eduardo who is half your age and knows about 10 English words, try these three techniques to help your children remember you are their mother.


  1. Show them the three family portraits you have with them. Sure, these photographs have been photoshopped to an unbelievable degree, with the woman in the picture bearing no resemblance to you. But maybe they'll notice you have the same eyes?

  2. Present them your identification card. If they claim it's a forged document, take the children to a notary public who will put to rest any doubts. A lie detector test is another option.

  3. Hypnotize them. The children will remember a woman who looked vaguely like you who flitted in and out of their lives every few months and would give them brass watches and Swiss chocolates and things. Warning: You may need to take them to a psychologist to work out all the trauma once they remember what you did.



Though all these steps may be critical in helping your children remember who you are, prevention is key. Tell Marta that as part of her duties as nanny she must wear a mask of your face and do her best to change her voice to mimic yours while you are away. Here's hoping that your children will one day recognize you as a woman who could have possibly birthed them.


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How to remember who your kids are after your long vacation in the tropics