It's just a fact. Women are evil, dude. It's like it sayz in the Bibble. Eve was a total smoking hot babe and just walked around naked all the time giving Adam boners. But I guess she fucked a snake or something and pissed good off. And hey, while I'm at it, it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve...
I had a friend named Steve. He was like totally into smokin pot with his bros. Then one day he disappeared. I think it was aliens. I don't know. He told me he saw a weird light outside his window one night when he was tripping. I wonder how his family's doing. They think he just probably died in a ditch or something. But I'm telling you it's the aliens.
Hey, have you ever seen Ancient Aliens on TV? I watch it sometimes when I go home to see my folks and there's nothing else to do. My mom makes me some pizza rolls and I just crash on the couch. The one thing I love about home is pizza roles. But then Dad starts in on me about paying my brother back but geez dude, where do you want me to pull $20,000 from? My ass? Shit.
Anyway, Steve's in Mars and women are from hell. I miss you, Steve. Send me a sign if you can get the aliens off your back, bro.