I have long been an environmentalist because I like the hippie look. And in my studies I have found that humanity's carbon footprint has truly stomped the shit out of the Earth. That's why I have decided to become a ghost.
You see, ghosts don't have footprints. And so, they can't have carbon footprints, either.
Now, I know what you're thinking... "Hey, if you're a ghost, doesn't that mean you don't exist anymore?" I'm not sure about that, because I don't like to think very deeply about things, but I do know people are always on the hunt for them and I like to be stalked/adored.
If by becoming a ghost I get two of the footprints that are destroying the Earth off the planet then I have done my job as a hippie environmentalist Instagram Influencer. Just please tag @hothippiechickwhoisnowaghost if you decide to also take this crucial step to save our planet.
Footprints, no more!